What’s your point Dave

How does it make you feel when your feet step on the mat. How does that signal feel externally and internally. Do you say oh let’s get going or do you feel a connection to something. Do you take the time to absorb that moment of the mat connecting to your feet. Or do you just get at it.

I’m conditioned by my experiences, my mistakes, my successes, my loves, my MS. All that is filtered through those feet of mine when I begin. You’d think I’m just getting on the mat but I’m not. I’m beginning to feel all that has passed.

And lately it’s a little troublesome.

When not on the mat do you ever daydream or lose yourself while involved in a situation that is completely opposite of what you should be doing. Do you ever look at something and look right past it into dreamland. I do (maybe it’s just me).

Practice has become a little bit like that lately. It has become so disconnected to what is actually happening. Practice is no longer a series of asanas connected by breath and movement. It’s become one long asana. It’s so engrained and without thought that I don’t think about what comes next and what I’m doing. I’m moving, breathing, counting, and all the while there’s an actual conversation going on in my head. How can all that be going on at the same time. I’m thinking; don’t forget to mail that letter and remember to do blah blah blah. It’s like I’m multitasking without any thought about what I’m doing.

It is surreal to be standing, folded over, holding my toes and gaze, and completely lose myself. I’m not even there I’m somewhere else and then I lose my balance and fall. I’m not concentrating on what I’m doing.

As an MS’er standing asanas or asanas that require balance I can’t completely let go. I must concentrate on what I am doing. As my balance is becoming more of an issue I have to rely on my concentration even more to maintain where I am. Seated asanas don’t require that kind of attention so breath becomes the focal point and allows my kind of quiet.

But standing asanas require a different focal point and that in most cases is balance. That itself is one pointedness. Focusing on one thing. Drishti or gaze point is an integral part of the Ashtanga yoga system. It’s that one pointedness to focus on. I use it in standing asanas to keep my balance. I don’t focus on the traditional drishti (gaze point) I focus on a spot on a wall or ceiling to maintain my balance. That concentration is needed. It brings me back to where I need to be. If I don’t do that then those conversations and or multitasking occurs and ultimately I will fall. I have to concentrate on that spot and keep my mind on the reason why I’m looking at that spot. I’m maintaining my balance. Breathing, movement, asana (posture) have become so automatic that one pointedness in standing asanas is a necessity.

It’s exercise for my mind. It’s funny eh; exercise for my mind is doing less – focusing on one thing.

So my way to meditate or maintain one pointedness while I practice is focusing on one point. It is my drishti (gaze point) for standing asanas and it’s my breath for sitting asanas. I’m bifocal – ha.

When I get on my mat I do connect with my feet it’s a necessary component of my practice. And I take that moment to feel that connection. It took me years and different mats to arrive at this important discovery. There’s a grip and a sensation that I actually can feel. It literally is a physical attachment to the ground. It is also a necessary component of the balance equation.

Connection is what we all really need though right. Not just feeling the mat. It’s a way to find belonging, stability, uniqueness, self belief, and love. Yeah I know I’m getting off track, but that is exactly what was happening on my mat…

And the point Dave, is that one point.

Ahimsa