Understanding hope

I often wake up with a word, phrase, or idea in my head. Sometimes it’s in the middle of the night and by time I get up in the morning I’ve forgotten what it was. I can’t roll over and jot down a note cause I’d have to turn on a light and that would wake up my wife. But more practically I can’t read my own hand writing. MS has completely wrecked my ability to write. I do not have much sensation in my hand and dexterity barely exists.

If I look at my signature for example. Twenty seven years ago I could recognize my name in my signature. Today my signature is a wavy line, could be anyone’s signature – but it’s my wavy line.

So the other night I woke up at around 3:00am with those two words in my head – Understanding Hope. Will I remember this in the morning – umm. So I kept repeating it to myself over and over and started to doze off. Wait… you’re going to forget. So I got up grabbed my phone and went to the bathroom. I sent myself an email with the subject Understanding Hope.

I get up in the morning and make some coffee. Grab my iPad and start reading emails. Understanding hope. Who’s looking for money. Oh yea that’s from me. Problem is I can’t remember what it was about those two words that resonated so much last night.

So I let it sit for about six months and came across those words again. I had written (typed) them in my iPad writing app. So here I am trying to remember why those words, in the middle of the night, felt so profound.

I could say that hope to be understood needs a reason. I hope I win the lottery. For me that’s a nice hope it’s not something that I need to survive but it sure would remove some worries. I’ve made plans to go to the beach tomorrow I hope it’s a nice day.

And I can say that the word itself is wishy washy. Hope is just a desire that you want to happen. I hope she likes me. Hope has no power over the outcome. She either likes me or she doesn’t. Me hoping has no bearing or impact on the outcome. It’s a comment on my feelings not hers.

But what if hope was a telepathic technique that’s sent to her brain to make sure that she does like me. That would be nice for me but not fair to her. And to be honest not fair to me either I want her to like me because she does like me.

I hope my legs are able to carry me tomorrow. That would be a great reason for the telepathic technique of hope. I hope MS is cured tomorrow. I still hope she likes me though.

If she likes me then does that power have any impact on my ability to walk. Does my brain have the power to make my legs work. Do I want her to like me or do I want my legs to work – you chose. I’ll take whatever choice you make.

They both make me feel good. The power of walking without thought or effort is a hope that will never happen. Hope has no power at all. Hope is a weak thought process that has absolutely no impact. Hope is a last gasp to get the result you want. Hope is passive.

Imagine though if hope had power.

A friend of mine told me that she prayed for me when I was diagnosed with cancer and yes I was surprised that was even an activity she did. She told me yes I pray. I don’t want to jinx it but so far it has worked.

What does praying mean. The dictionary says: address a solemn request or expression of thanks to a deity or other object of worship.

But what would it mean if praying was a telepathic engagement to provide a desired outcome. The more people that engage in communal praying (telepathic engagement) the more likely the desired result will occur. We are not praying to a God we are praying for an outcome. I don’t believe in God so me asking God to do something for me doesn’t work.

What would you think if at a certain time around the world we all stopped and telepathically engaged for five minutes that a particular war would end. Pick any war (what a sad three words). So this engagement can make the word hope less passive and more outcome oriented. It’s kinda like harmonic resonance but on a telepathic frequency.

I believe in the power of positive thinking. I believe in my ability to achieve something simply by believing it will happen. That is power in me and I have that within me and it’s a prolific power that enables what some would think is not possible. But positivity is contagious it’s prolific it’s powerful. My positivity can and does impact someone else’s positivity. It’s a self fulfilling prophesy. But turn it outwards and see what you get. It’s kinda like praying for an outcome.

Within my own realm I have power over my outcomes. If I believe really believe, then, it will happen.

So I’m telepathically engaged in my legs getting better, that all wars end, and I still HOPE she likes me – ha.

And I’m not even close to knowing why I thought those words Understanding Hope felt so profound at 3:00am in the morning.

Ahimsa