Signs of disability

Sign one

She said: are you ok?

It was a late morning hot sunny day. I was standing in front of the bank across the street from the Penny Farthing Pub. I was waiting to be picked up while I watched two people wearing Argentina football shirts head in to that pub. A lady walked by me with her dog.

My wife had dropped me off and I was to call her when I was done. BUT, a really big but, when I went to call her I couldn’t find my phone – I had forgotten it at home. Shit.

I’ll just wait for a while – she’ll figure it out and come get me. Standing outside in the hot sun I was starting to melt. I no longer can handle the heat – MS has made sure of that.

What am I going to do? So I thought I’d go back in the bank borrow the phone and call her. But I don’t know her number it’s in my phone. I don’t know anybody’s phone number. I’m a doofus. I probably looked a little uneasy when the lady with the dog was on her way back and stoped and said to me are you ok?

It had been about twenty minutes and I was still standing there. She looked down at my knee brace and asked me if I needed any help. I said no I’m just waiting for my wife thanks for your concern. She smiled and went on her way. A few minutes later my wife picked me up.

Sign two

Two weeks ago I went to Home Depot to get something to attach a light to the ceiling. Home Depot is massive and walking in there is a concern because it’s so big and I did not know where I was going. So I brought my cane with me. As I hobbled with my visible knee brace and cane though the store a young employee came up to me and asked if he could help me. I told him what I was looking for and he said follow me. We went for a long walk and when we got there he said wait here I’ll get someone for you. Within seconds they both returned found what I needed and I was on my way.

It’s very heartwarming that people want to help me a now visibly “disabled” person. It is something that is new to me as I lose my anonymity.

Sign three

Parking is always difficult to find whenever I have to run errands. Parking at the MS clinic is especially difficult. I always give myself extra time to find a spot. Most times I park illegally (half on the grass) and hope I don’t get ticketed. Sometimes I’ve had to park blocks away and the walk is becoming difficult. On a hot day very difficult. This time when I saw my neurologist I brought accessible parking permit paperwork for her to sign.

Now I have an actual sign of disability (photo above) that I can hang from my rear view mirror and use the accessible parking spots.

I’ve always done my best to hide my MS. When diagnosed I did not tell my parents, my kids, my work, and most of my friends. Mostly I haven’t discussed it other than this blog, my book, and with my neurologist.

It’s a disease that up until recently I would hide. There were no visible indicators. That is no longer the case and the other day a guy in the line behind me at the coffee shop asked me about my brace. I explained it was to stop my knee hyperextending – I told him, I have MS. That was a first. He went on to tell me about water on his knees and they had to be drained. Do you think that will hurt he said; Nah I think you’re good…

Ahimsa

Note: I’ve had the parking permit for almost two weeks now. I’ve yet to use it. The permit itself has an image of a person in a wheelchair. Kind of a misnomer because it’s used by lots of people whom do not use wheelchairs. I am one of them. I have good and I have bad days when it comes to walking. Even on a good day the distance from where I’m parked to where I’m going can be difficult. MS has progressed significantly in the past year. That sucks for sure. But having that parking permit to use the accessible parking spot not only makes the walk easier. It removes a barrier in my decision process about whether I venture out. It may sound like a small issue but for me it represents freedom.